Sunday, June 17, 2007

Liquid N'Metal


Its been two weeks. I'm sweating constantly. I still don't really smell though. I have never had to wear deodorant. I'd say overall change has been minimal. I don't have much of an appetite. I seem to need less sleep. My period has lasted 7 days, which has never happened. My orgasms are different. I can feel them in my gut, just under my belly button. And 'it' has grown a bit.

I have my second shot tomorrow. I have to give it myself. I don't feel to nervous about it. Watching the needle pierce my skin and slip in my thigh the first time helped. It didn't hurt at all, even as the T was injected into my muscle.

So we'll see how things go tomorrow. I have done really really well with my drinking. I basically went from drinking nearly every day, to drinking 3-4 drinks in a week. I have not drank alone at all, which is probably a pretty good indication I am the road to a healthy drinking habit. I also quit smoking. I have slipped here and there, but this time has been the easiest of all the other times I have tried to quit.

I'm feeling a little less than eloquent right now. Hopefully tomorrows post will be better. Less all over the place.

Now that I think of it, I have no patience. This may be a factor in my inability to be more thoughtful about what I'm writing.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Last Day

Today is my last day. In this spot. The ambiguous transmigration begins here. Where will I go? How will I get there? What will I look like at the end of this journey? I have no idea. I have no expectations. I do know change is inevitable. The rate of that change is limited to my chemistry and my biology. However, on the matter of my soul. Change is limited only to me and my willingness to let go. Starting tomorrow a chemical will be introduced into my body. That chemical, testosterone, is not foreign to me, however the levels that I will be receiving are. Thus the transmigration. Ambiguous because of biology. Ambiguous because of societal expectations for gender conformity.